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| WORLD OF SEX POSITIONS |
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Foreplay |
Foreplay refers to a wide variety of erotic
stimulation that precedes "real" sex or sexual
intercourse. However, behaviors that commonly are labeled as
foreplay are pleasurable sexual activities in their own right and
need not be thought of only as preliminary to other activities. In
the era of AIDS, there has been growing emphasis on sexual contact
that does not lead to intercourse. Some forms of this behavior, in
which orgasm occurs without inserting the penis into the vagina or
any other body cavity, have been referred to as outercourse.
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As part of a broader sexual interaction, foreplay is
considered to be an essential component that stimulates and prepares
the body and the mind/emotions to move through the phases of the
sexual response cycle in preparation for orgasm. Touch is a
key element of foreplay because the surface of the body is covered
with many receptor cells (nerve endings) that transmit pleasurable
sensations to the brain. Some parts of the body, particularly the
clitoris, penis, nipples, fingertips, palms, lips, tongues, and
soles of the feet have more densely packed nerve endings. These
sites are sometimes called the erogenous zones, although, in fact,
the entire surface of the skin has been referred to as the body's
largest sex organ because all forms of pleasure during foreplay are
transmitted through the skin. Consequently, caresses, hugging,
holding hands, and related acts of physical intimacy, in addition to
expressing key cultural meanings about caring, safety, and arousal,
are important acts of foreplay. Many people also find light touching
or tickling of the surface of the skin to be especially stimulating.
Back rubs and massages (with or without massage oil or other
artificial lubrication) are considered to be very erotic by some.
Others prefer more intensive hand to body caressing and exploration
of the erogenous zones, commonly referred to as petting.
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Individuals vary considerably in terms of which of
the potential erogenous zones they find to be most sensitive. Some
people like to have their neck stroked or kissed, an experience that
conveys great pleasure and sexual excitement. Others enjoy having
their fingers and/or toes nibbled or sucked. Many people find
kissing to be the fundamental act of foreplay. Kissing involves a
range of behaviors from very light lip-to-lip contact, to what is
often referred to as "deep" or French kissing, in which
partners rub their tongues against each other and over other mouth
surfaces. Generally, kissing is considered to be an extremely
intimate and pleasurable act because it involves direct face-to-face
contact and because the mucous membranes that cover the lips and
mouth have an especially dense supply of nerve endings. Some
individuals are particularly sensitive around their ears, inner
thighs, or lower stomach, while breasts and nipples (for both women
and men) often are highly preferred places for caressing and oral
stimulation. In addition to various sites around the body, most
people are quite responsive to manual or oral contact with their
pubic area, although the precise spot that is most arousing varies.
For men, the underside of the full length of the penis, the head of
the penis, the scrotum, or the area between the end of the scrotum
and the anus (called the perineum) are often quite sensitive. Oral
stimulation and sucking of these areas is referred to as oral sex.
Oral stimulation of the penis is called fellatio. For women, the
clitoris, vulva, and surrounding areas are especially sensitive.
Oral stimulation of these areas, especially to the point of orgasm,
is known as cunnilingus. There has been considerable discussion in
recent years of various highly sensitive spots within the woman's
vagina. The most discussed is called the "G-spot", named
after its discoverer, Dr. Ernst Grafenberg. It is a small location
inside the vagina on the anterior wall just behind the pubic bone.
Stimulating this site is reported for some women to set off the
production and ejaculation-like expulsion of fluid from the Skene's
gland, the female counterpart of the prostate gland. For both women
and men, anal stimulation may be highly stimulating (although others
may find manual, oral, or penile stimulation of the anus to be
repulsive).
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It is sometimes said that the human body's most
erogenous zone is the mind. Foreplay, as a result, is not merely an
issue of physical stimulation but also one of emotional and mental
stimulation. Some people, for example, are stimulated by the
physical location and setting in which foreplay occurs. For some,
public displays of affection are highly erotic. Most people are also
responsive to verbal stimulation and can become aroused by
compliments and strong expressions of affection and caring. Some
have personal fantasies about particular locations or activities
that they find highly stimulating (e.g., a warm fireplace on a cold
night). Consequently, arranging locations or the role-playing of
particular desired interactions (sometimes in costume) may be
incorporated into foreplay.
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Some fantasies may involve activities or
circumstances, such as acts of dominance or submission, that are
only pleasurable as fantasy and would be otherwise unacceptable.
Generally, these activities require open communication, a fair
degree of disinhibition, and a willingness to appease one's partner.
For some people, even light to moderate pain may be stimulating.
Biting or light scratching are common acts of foreplay, but some
people prefer spanking or other forms of light physical punishment.
Bondage is also considered quite arousing by some people. Acceptance
or rejection of these behaviors varies, and unless a behavior is
mutually enjoyable it will not contribute to providing the pleasure
and sense of deep relaxation that is the central function of
foreplay in human sexual interaction. Various rubber and electrical
devices (such as vibrators), sometimes called "sex toys,"
have become popular in recent years. These are readily available in
many areas at stores that specialize in adult merchandise.
Generally, these stores also sell sexually explicit magazines and
videotapes, which some couples incorporate into their foreplay
activities.
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The basic ingredients of foreplay are physical and
mental/emotional stimulation, trust, and the expression of caring.
Acts of foreplay that some individuals or couples find highly erotic
may be completely unacceptable to others. Consequently, open
discussion, sensitivity, and acceptance are vital to a healthy
approach to foreplay.
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