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| WORLD OF SEX POSITIONS |
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Oral Sex |
Oral Sex or oral-genital sex means both mouth contact
with the vagina, which is called cunnilingus, and mouth contact with
the penis, which is called fellatio. Cunnilingus comes from a Latin
word for vulva (a woman's exterior sex organs), cunnus, and from the
Latin word for licking, lingere. Fellatio comes from the Latin word
fellare, meaning to suck. Either form of oral sex can be done with
one partner stimulating the other individually, or both partners can
stimulate each other's genitals simultaneously. Oral sex given
simultaneously is commonly called 69, or, the French translation,
soixante-neuf. This is because the body position of a couple having
mutual oral sex resembles the numeral 69.
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Cunnilingus and fellatio are common sexual behaviors
for both same sex couples and couples of different sexes. There are
various combinations of positions and techniques used in oral sex,
but it is the mouth and tongue that provide the pleasure in all
cases. Kissing, licking, sucking and nibbling can feel good anywhere
on the genitals of both men and women. The pressure (light, firm,
and in between), speed (fast, slow, or changing), and the type of
motion used can be varied endlessly to produce different sensations.
In both practices, the warm, moist feeling of the mouth and the
tongue on the genitals can be very erotic. Some enjoy a teasing,
stop-start approach, while others prefer a more steady type of
stimulation. In one fellatio technique, known as the Snaky-Lick
Trick, the "trick" is to tease the underside of the penis
head almost imperceptibly with the very tip of the tongue, just
making ever so slight tongue contact with this sensitive area in one
light upward lick, and then backing off for about fifteen seconds
between each lick. This trick has been said to result in a powerful
ejaculation in a very short time. Other methods of fellatio include
sucking the glans or shaft of the penis by engulfing it in the
mouth, licking at various parts of the penis and scrotum, or
nibbling anywhere along the genitals. Many men enjoy having the
scrotum lightly stroked during fellatio and the area just beneath
the scrotum is often quite sensitive to touch or oral massage.
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Some people are uncomfortable performing fellatio
because they have a sensation of gagging when they take the erect
penis into their mouth. This real physiological event, known as the
gag reflex, is triggered by pressure at the back of the tongue or in
the throat. If a man, in his excited state, pushes his penis too far
into his partner's mouth, the gag reflex may take over. One way to
avoid this problem is for the person giving the oral sex to grasp
the penis along the shaft to control how much of it enters the
mouth. Another common objection to fellatio is having the man
ejaculate in his partner's mouth. A couple can agree in advance to
have the man remove his penis from his partner's mouth before
ejaculation. Others don't mind. They either rinse the ejaculate from
their mouth right away or they swallow it. The ejaculate, on average
about 4 cc, consists of proteins and sugars and reportedly contains
less than 36 calories.
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Cunnilingus, like fellatio, can be performed in many
ways. Women's preferences vary, but commonly enjoyed techniques
include gentle tongue movements over the clitoris, more rapid,
focused licking, or sucking the clitoris either gently or in a
rougher fashion. Other forms that women enjoy are oral stimulation
of the clitoris combined with fingering of the vagina; licking and
kissing of the lips just outside the vagina; having the tongue
thrust in and out of the vaginal opening; and having the clitoris
stimulated by hand (her own or her partner's) while oral stimulation
is directed at other parts of the genitals.
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Not everyone has or enjoys oral sex. Many people who
try it enjoy oral sex, but others have reservations about it. These
reservations tend to fall into three arenas: first, that oral sex is
unhygienic; second, that there is a taboo against it; third, that it
is not a true expression of femininity or masculinity.
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With regard to the matter of hygiene and oral sex,
neither vaginal fluid nor semen is harmful in any way. This of
course is true only in persons who are not infected with a sexually
transmitted disease (STD). Everyone should be sure that they
themselves and their partners are free from STDs before engaging in
any sexual activity. No disease can be passed by oral sex that
wouldn't be transmitted by any other kind of sex. If one partner has
a STD the other is likely to catch it whatever they do together
sexually. In short, oral sex between healthy people is safe and
clean. Another hygiene aspect that concerns some people is genital
odor. Simply washing the genitals is sufficient to prepare you for
any sex, including oral sex. It is not necessary for women to douche
before having oral sex, but some women choose to do so. However,
douching can wash away the helpful bacteria that naturally protect
the vagina. In addition to a man's natural genital odors, the
genitals often take on the smells of recently eaten foods. As with
women, thorough washing can reduce this odor, and besides, many
people find some degree of genital odor in their partner
stimulating.
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The notion that oral sex is taboo discourages some
people from ever trying it. Oral sex has long been frowned upon and
often deemed illegal. The basis for the social disapproval and legal
restrictions lies in age-old religious prohibitions, which to some
are still very powerful. People who accept and practice almost any
of the major Western religions can therefore feel confused and
guilty about engaging in oral sex, despite their knowledge that it
is a safe and appropriate form of sexual expression. In the end,
each individual must decide for him or her self whether to stick to
the teachings of his or her religion or to act in favor of what
seems personally right for them.
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For some people, the issue is not conflict with their
religious beliefs as much as it is a belief that it somehow
compromises their masculinity or femininity. Some people incorrectly
think that cunnilingus and fellatio are homosexual acts, even if
experienced by heterosexual couples. While homosexual couples do
engage in oral sex, so do a majority of heterosexual couples. The
activity itself is neither homosexual nor heterosexual. Apart form
the misconception about oral sex and homosexuality, women sometimes
feel that performing oral sex can make them feel submissive, as if
they are giving a service and are thereby inferior. Men sometimes
feel that performing oral sex on their partner reduces their
masculinity because their penis is not involved. Couples should
openly discuss these issues, and if necessary seek the help of a
qualified therapist.
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Fortunately, many people are free of negative
feelings about oral sex and have chosen to include it in their
sexual repertoire. However, it is just as okay to choose not to
participate in oral sex as it is to do so. Oral sex, just like any
other sexual behavior, is a matter of personal preference.
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